I'm Still Here
by DJ Rodriguez
Summary: This is a songfic dedicated to my good friend, YamiPaladinofChaos! I hope he enjoys it, as do all of you! R&R, no flames, enjoy, and leave long reviews!


I'm Still Here

By: DJ Rodriguez

(Author's Notes: This is dedicated to my good friend YamiPaladinofChaos, an author who did something magnificent for me.

Darien: Just to remind all of you, this is DJ's second Harry Potter songfic. This one, he got from Yami's story, _Reap what you Sow_. Its pretty good, so check it out.

DJ: This song also shows on what Harry thinks while he is in Azkaban prison, and also a cell mate on who tells him the true meaning of light and darkness.

I do not own Harry Potter or _I'm Still Here_ from the movie _Treasure Planet_.)

Harry Potter, once legendary young wizard and supposedly savior of the world, was now a prisoner in Azkaban. And at only 16 years of age, making him the youngest prisoner on record.

'How… how did this all happen?', he asked himself over and over again in his cell. He remembered it clearly, though: Throwing the Torturing curse at Bellatrix, his godfather falling into the veil, the accucastion of him, murding Percy Weasley and Rubeus Hagrid, his friends and family betraying him, Dumbledore turning his back on him, the trial, and his imprisonment.

"I'm innocent, and yet… here I am. I have lost everything, and now… I don't know who to trust or what to believe in anymore.", he whispered to himself.

Thirteen months later

He was starting to slip away in the darkness, the Dementors and Voldermort dreams never letting up. To try and allievate some of the pain, he started to ask himself on why he even had the world's weight on his shoulder to begin with.

"All of them… Dumbledore… the Weasley's… Ginny… Hermoine… every single person what me to be this great hero! And now… I'm nothing.", he ranted softly.

All through his life, he realized that people did not see him on who he really was. They only saw what they were expected to see, and to use him as they saw fit. At one point, he thought and believed that Ginny did see his true self. However, it disappeared when she did not partake in his trial and defend him.

"I was once the Light… and now everyone believes that I'm Dark.", he muttered to himself.

Suddenly, a strong, yet soft voice whispered to him from the cell on his right, "Light… Darkness… they mean nothing.".

Harry turned to his right and asked, "Who are you?".

The voice replied, "That is no concern at the moment, Harry Potter. For now, call me Paladin Chaos.".

Harry wondered if this guy was mental, but he continued to listen on. He inquired, "What do you mean, 'they mean nothing'?! Why does Light and Darkness mean nothing to you?".

Paladin's strong voice answered, a little bit louder, "Darkness and Light, they are just words used by humans to describe something. But, in actuality, these words hold little meaning.".

He continued on, "Light, they say, represents Good. While Darkness, represents Evil. But, I tell you the truth, those words are empty.".

Harry then inquired, "How so?"

Paladin answered, "There is no clear definition between Good and Evil with words. The only way you can even know who/what is Good or Evil… is by listening to your heart.".

Harry then asked, "So… are you saying that Light AND Darkness… can be used for either Good and Evil?".

Paladin seemd to carry pride in his voice as he answered, "Yes, young wizard. A true human knows that Good and Evil can never lie within words. Rather, they lie in the heart and actions of others and himself.".

Paladin attempted to clearfiy, "For example, a wizard or witch that uses any "Dark" arts are considered to be evil. A wizard using "Light" arts are considered to be good. But, I have seen people using "Dark" arts to save lives, while those who use "Light" powers to only glorify him/herself.".

Harry then understood; it wasn't a type of art that made a person evil or good, merely by mentioning Light or Darkness. It was the person that made the spell or curse what it was! It was the actions of the person, and his heart, that showed weither he/she was Good or Evil.

Paladin then said, "I do not have much time… but know this. I know that you are innocent Harry, and you need to learn both Light and Dark magic in order to avenge your loved ones and clear your name.".

Before his voice faded out, his final saying was, "You can harness the powers of both Light and Darkness, the merging of Chaos, and use them to defeat the Evil outside of these walls.".

Harry exclaimed, "Wait! Tell me more!". It was no use. The man had no vanished, as if he disappeared in thin air. Harry was wondering on who Paladin really was, but now he had other things to tend to.

"Well, someone believes I'm innocent at least… but, he's right! I can't give up now! I got to try and survive, I got to still be here!!".

Just then, he remembered a song from a movie he once saw in his old room at the Dursley's. The movie was _Treasure Planet_, and the song kinda represented him entirely. As he focused on getting his mind back in shape, he sang the song in his head to block the pain the Dementors were giving him.__

_I am a question to the world,_

_Not an answer to be heard._

_All a moment that's held in your arms._

_And what do you think you'd ever say?_

_I won't listen anyway…_

_You don't know me,_

And I'll never be what you want me to be 

As he re-trained his mind and started to come up with a mental barrier to block out the Dementor's effects, he started to get stronger somewhat as he continued to sing in his head.__

_And what do you think you'd understand?_

_I'm a boy, no, I'm a man…_

_You can take me and throw me away._

_And how can you learn what's never shown?_

_Yeah, you stand here on your own._

They don't know me 'cause I'm not here 

As he continued to work, Harry knew that part of the song was true. He was never shown any kind of love when he was with the Dursley's, nor any type of real love by anyone at the Wizarding World. He seemed to feel like that around Ginny, but that was long gone now.

Everyone, including Dumbledore and the Order, considered Harry to be a mere child. However, he had seen and gone through many things in his sixteen years, then most adult wizards could only dream of.

'They threw me away, but that's okay. I'm going to prove to all that I was innocent… I'M GOING TO GET OUT OF HERE SOON!!!', he said to himself.__

_And I want a moment to be real,_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel,_

_Wanna hold on and feel I belong._

_And how can the world want me to change,_

_They're the ones that stay the same._

_They don't know me,_

_'Cause I'm not here._

Harry remembered on how it really felt to be alive, to be him. It was when the Weasley's took him in, when they all accepted him as a member of their family.

He touched things that were alien to him, like Ginny Weasley, and on he liked it very much. On how he held her, and for the first time in his life… he felt like he belonged.__

_And you see the things they never see_

_All you wanted, I could be_

_Now you know me, and I'm not afraid_

_And I wanna tell you who I am_

_Can you help me be a man?_

_They can break me_

As long as I know who I am 

Harry remembed Paladin's words, and was very thankful that he was there to comfort him. Even if it was brief and weird in a way.

'I don't know why… but, I feel as though he was sent here by someone.', he thought. Something in his very soul just told him that something good would come out of his meeting with the mysterious stranger.__

_And I want a moment to be real,_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel,_

_Wanna hold on and feel I belong._

_And how could the world want me to change,_

_They're the ones that stay the same._

_They can't see me,_

But I'm still here 

Thinking back again, Harry understood that the Wizarding world was still stuck the way it was when Voldemort. They were so caught up in being safe and secure, that they never wanted for change. Their fear and paranoia of Tommy-boy persisted, and that was caused them to be blind to the truth that he was back.

'They wanted to see me change, to adapt to their way of thinking and feeling. Well, I'm not going to! Not now, not ever!', he promised.

He soon built up a shield that would allow him to be invisible to the Dementors and guards. So, everyone now thought he had disappeared. But, he was still there.__

_They can't tell me who to be,_

_'Cause I'm not what they see._

_And the world is still sleepin',_

_While I keep on dreamin' for me._

_And their words are just whispers_

_And lies that I'll never believe._

Continuing to work hard, sweat pouring down his brow, he remembered on everything that people wanted him to be. Many wanted him to be the ideal hero, others to be an Auror, and few others to be a true ally. Well, it was all moot now.

'One day, I'll break free from here! I'll get my revenge on Tom Riddle, and show the Wizarding world, and those fools who betrayed me, that I was innocent!', he vowed.

All those talks of love, friendship, family from his former friends… they were now just lies, empty promises to Harry.__

_And I want a moment to be real,_

_Wanna touch things I don't feel,_

_Wanna hold on and feel I belong_

_And how can the world want me to change,_

_They're the ones that stay the same._

_I'm the one now,_

_'Cause I'm still here._

'_Harry_…', a ghostly whisper started off in his head. Harry looked up in surprise, and searched frantically from where the voice came from.

"Who are you?!", he exclaimed in slight fear.

One by one, he heard familiar voices coming into his head. One of them was Sirus, the other Hagrid, many other famous and powerful wizard from ages long past, and two more that stood out… James and Lily Potter, his parents.

'_Hello, Harry. It is good to finally talk to you, son._', James said in a soothing voice.

Harry had tears coming into his eyes, his heart just now filled with joy from hearing his parents, godfather, and good friend again. "But… how?", he whispered out.

Lily answered, '_We decided that the time was right to speak to you know. Our friend, Paladin, made way for us to come to you. He wanted to help you out, as much as we do._'.__

_I'm the one,_

_'Cause I'm still here._

_I'm still here._

_I'm still here._

_I'm still here._

It was from that day on, for the next two years, that Harry would grow and study all he could from his parents and the rest of his family. All of them were just angry and upset that Harry was put in prison even though he was innocent, and by all means were going to do something to assist the young boy.

'Well, I'm going to show them all that I'm not going to crack. I'm going to stay in this world, and come back with full vengence!', he said to himself.

Harry Potter was soon gone, in his place stood a more confident, strong one. He took on the name that his friend Paladin had… Chaos Harry, for he soon controlled both Light and Dark.

(Author's Notes: Sorry if this seemed confusing, but I did try my best to make it all makes sense.

Darien: If you read _Reap what you sow_, you will understand it all… I hope. In any case, this is a tribute to our good friend, YamiPaladinofChaos!

R&R, no flames, enjoy, and leave long reviews!)


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